Value of Friendship

I value friendship more than anything else in the world. I work hard to be a good friend, but I sometimes find myself not very well liked no matter what I do. I have gone through so many friends growing up. I was the nice person, never said no, and I found myself always going out of my way to help other people, while other people would watch me go through hard times on my own. I had support, my family, but there are times when having friends by your side gives you the feeling that people care about you. And I know I have gone from a happy blog to a not so happy, but like I say, life has it's ups and downs, and I just watched an episode o "Drop Dead Diva" and in the show, Jane, this girl who has gone through a lot, finds herself as the best man to her ex-lovers wedding. How hard is that? It's because she goes out of her way to help people, and in the end, nobody seems to notice how hard she has worked. I know that people took advantage of me as a kid growing up. My parents taught me to be a certain way. They showed my sisters and I the meaning of family, and that less is more, and that if you give without complaining, you will be rewarded ten times what you expect. It is true, God is always watching our backs, and has never failed us.

So as I thought about this blog, it made me realize that the people I put my all for, do not consider me a real friend, otherwise we would hang out, eat out, and do what real friends do. Respect each other but not talk bad about each other. I know now who my real friends are, and am still going through a bit of that phase. I know a lot of people, and find my self somehow still towards the back in the "not so popular" corner, but I know that the person that I am does not need a thousand friends, just five close girls, and I do have my close circle. but sometimes it would be nice if people did not treat me more like a person and made me feel a bit better about my self. I know my personality can be a bit tough and aggressive, but did it ever occur to you that it might be a front because of my own insecurities?

We grow at different paces, but if there is one thing I know, it is that I am an amazing person and hard worker. Regardless how tough I might act, how loud I might be, I get stuff done, and when I struggle, watching me fall should not entertain you, but you should want to help me get back up, because that is what real friends do. They support each other, they grow together, and do not think they are better than one another.

I ask you to remember that you are not better than me, nor am I you, but to treat me the way you would want to be treated. Lile a human being, with respect, and if you have a problem with the way I do things, be the bigger person and just talk to me to my face. I can handle what you say. We all need a little love, so I am hoping the next time I run into an old friend that they won't be fake towards me. I know who I am. I do not hesitate to share how I feel hence this blog. I am not letting my personality be the reason why I cannot find love, happiness, and comfort where I am.

Signed:
GyftedArtyst

Hmmmm...Not Yet Titled

So today I went for a walk. I did the Colby loop in about 45 minutes. That's good for timing. I am trying to get into shape because I have slacked on my fitness skills for soccer. Next thing to work on is my cardio. I hear it's good for your heart! :)

So the past little while that I haven't blogged lots has been going on. I signed up for the Jazz Festival so I could gain a bit more of a social life, and also get into stuff for free, and I am helping out with the Multi-cultural Festival with some people, so it's been a busy little week and some for me.

So the girls team has lost every game so far, but I would say the best thing about us playing is though we may not win games, we have the hearts of our fans, and our games, both guys and girls have become a social network for people to make new friends, and learn more about the game. They get to cheer us on, support us, and when we get hurt, they rush over to help us. But nothing feels better than a bunch of guys going crazy for us. Yes, the guys come out in numbers to see us, which makes us all feel special! We owe a huge thank you, and still have to have a season opener party...Hmm....Who wants to host?  Any takers?

So..The other day I had an appointment to talk to someone at a college in Dartmouth. She explained the process to me, how things went, the package, the tuition, etc. I loved the whole presentation, and was very pleased with what I heard. The program I will be going for is PR. I have a passion for writing and need to put my skills to some professional use. Am working on me because that's what I need to do.
Am still on the job hunt, applying every day, or as much as I can. It gets tiring though, some days I want to quit, other days I would rather sit and watch tv. But, a winner never quits, and I do not give up. I am fighting for what I want, and I will not give up until I get where I want to be. I am a hustla and they never stop!

Anyway, gotta watch two shows I missed this week. Life keeps a person busy, but gotta save time for my loves. :)

Peace & Love

Signed:
GyftedArtyst

You Are Not Alone!

I am not sure what to title this, but we'll see what happens.

Okay, so yesterday I played soccer, we had a two week break and I failed to do what I needed to do in order to play well. I did not defend as well as I should have, but I was able to do what had to get done.

So literally the entire SFC team came out to support us. It was so awesome to see them but also intimidating because it is like them watching themselves in the first year they started. Though they won games after game # 3 or 4, they were learning to play with each other, and feel each other out. We are still learning a lot and getting along better, but we are also growing very nicely. It was a tough game because all of our previous games were canceled so we were unable to play against other teams. It was the weather mostly. And tonight, we play again. I really want to do better so I am going to train myself to do well. I plan to give my self some time to exercise, and than take a nap before leaving for an event later today, and than the game. There was a party tonight at a friends house but I am not sure if I will make it yet..We will see.

So I was really down yesterday with my performance, but everyone kept telling me I did great, and all. Which I appreciated, but still, I do not feel like my best. I don't give up though. We should have won yesterday, and we could have prevented the goal that went in our end, but our defense lacked a bit in strength. Still, we should have won we had so many chances...What happened..Oh well, the past is past.
I am trying to ease up on my self because I find often I put myself down for many reasons. Confidence is key and unless I am able to believe in myself, why should others?
So, today, I plan to do better. I will focus more, concentrate, and make sure where I kick I aim. I know I am a good soccer player, my friends always tell me so it does lift my spirits. And I am glad I have that support. Support is important, it strengthens who we are, and let's our mentality know we are not alone. That is very important.

So today is a different day, a new day, a better day. I get to see great people, have fun, and do my best, and not let losing get to me like it did yesterday. I know my talents, braiding, writing, singing, blogging, well, blogging is a skill I think but I will get better...God has blessed me even when times are hard, and no matter what, things will be okay. I know because God is always watching and he will never leave.

So I hope you enjoy your day, keep your head held high and never give up!

Signed:
GyftedArtyst

Eyes on The Prize

How Can You Tell?
How do you know when you are in love?
Do you get butterflies in our stomach?
Do you forget what you are going to say?
Do you stumble and need to grab his arm to keep from falling?
I know when a guy is into you he makes fun of you, but if he is only attentive towards you?
Or just straight up ask you out without caring who sees
Because he is blessed instead of embarrassed
He hides no shame
Why?
He wants to make you his Queen
But you must let him
Let him treat you like royalty
Let him make you feel like you are the only person that matters

How Can You Tell?
Open you eyes instead of hide them with sunglaseses
The only way to tell if a guy is into you is to watch him around you
He'll go out of his way to stand near you, he will wear more cologne
He will buy your favorite drink at a club or bar and pay for it and secretly come up behind you and offer it to you
If someone asks funny around you he will defend you to prove you don't have to fight every fight on your own...
He will start dressing nicer, and instead of using big words just strike up conversation
He will offer to drive you if he has a car, or wait for the bus with you
He will watch you get on the bus and text you an hour later to make sure you get home safely
He won't feel bogged down if you made a mistake that had you two stuck together all day, to him that's the "best thing that ever happened"
He'll find a way to show up at your house party dressed to the nines, and dance with you in the middle of the floor as if it is just the two of you
He will stay over night if you get hung over just so he can wake up "next to you" in the morning
He will help clean up a mess he did not create
He will have a party and invite you just so he can see you
He'll buy your favorite music, food, and only talk about what you love so he can hear you talk all night
This seems like a lot, but if this guy wants you, he will do what ever it takes.
I've read a thousand love stories, watched tv, movies, and seen in real life, and men that want something they do not give up, trust me, both of my sisters and my parents are married
It isn't impossible to find someone just do what it takes to find them and keep them
Just open your eyes! Keep your eyes on the prize!

Signed:
GyftedArtyst

How Can You Tell?

I am a poet.

I love to write

I write to share how I feel about something
I write to let people know what is going on in my life, and hope someone can relate
I don't care if nobody can relate, we all have different lives
But I will still share, because I know someone out there is looking to relate
My job is to tell others to KEEP ART ALIVEI began writing when I was in elementary school
I wrote everything and anything about everyone and anything
I wrote about stuff that made me happy, sad, I wrote about things that made me laugh, cry, and feel sad, but I wrote about it
I love expressing my self
I love sharing my feelings
Even if they are sad, our sound depressed because it reminds people that we are human
We are all human
So never think you are better than or less than, we are all equal too
I have had my fair share if sad thoughts and still do, but I know my worth, and I know what my talents are

I am NOT afraid!!!!

Signed:
GyftedArtyst

Speechless

Some days have more drama than other days, but it is how you handle each problem. I for one hand do not like drama but find my self in situations where someone is either mad at me for be being honest (which happens often), or mad at me because I stand up for what is right. So forgive me for defending the people who cannot speak for themselves.

I believe in freedom of speech, but I also know if you are not careful and say something offensive, you can hurt people. I spoke about this in a previous blog, but it is true. Actions have consequences, words have consequences, just mind what you say.

I have been having some blogging issues the pat couple of days. Unsure what my main blog purpose is, and it is about me venting, sharing my experiences, and if I help others with problems, than so be it! This is my personal blog.

Having said that, let's move on!

Signed:
GyftedArtyst

Hmmmm

I have been struggling to write on my blog for the past couple of days. I have had mixed emotions for quite some time, but today I decided to just talk about one emotion.

I like someone. He is such a great guy, smart, funny, very caring, and most importantly, he loves God. That is big for me because most guys I meet they don't do "organized religion, or go to church, they believe in something just not sure what it is. I am single because I haven't found someone that loves God, goes to church, is active, etc. But I really like this guy, yet I don't know what to do about it. Do I give him clues, ask him out, call him...Everyone says "take your time, don't rush" Um, I'm in my mid-twenties, not saying I want to be married in a year or two, but it's about trying to start a friendship with someone without looking desperate.

I went personal because that is what I do. Hmmmm...He has a lot of great qualities, I am just not sure he sees me the way I see him. How do I get him to see me? Seriously, how?

HELP
Signed:
GyftedArtyst

It's Just Emotions

It's been an emotional couple of days. I have been struggling to find a job for an entire year, trying to figure out my next step, wondering if I will ever find love, and hoping I will eventually find my way. We all get lost, but I'm wondering when I will be found. All my life people asked me how I am, and I have always said I'm great, but I am tired of beating around the bush. I am sad because I can't find a job, I am getting older and starting to feel a bit more alone, it's hard to find someone to vent to because I have trust issues, and I feel like nobody trusts me because of who I used to be. I know this isn't the happiest blog entry, but sometimes a girl has to say how she feels. This is me being honest, so do not judge.

For the past little while, not sure how long, but a while, I have always wondered if people actually like me. Although I could care less if I only have three friends, I do not like it when people spread stuff about me. If you want to know something about me, ask me, why go around me? I am not a scary person, I won't bite, or yell, so please just ask. I get that I make mistakes but who doesn't? Emotionally I'd say it's been a tough couple of days. But I know I will make it through.

So at a soccer game last night, I felt really conflicted about how I was going to react while watching the guys play. I'm torn between being a lady and being myself, I do not want how I act to be the reason why I should be alone. That is not fair. I know I have some tendencies and can be loud, very open minded, and often talk a bit too much, but it is never to intentionally hurt anyone. I only mean well but I feel my actions are telling people to avoid me, please do not. We are all different but I have been feeling for the longest time that people are just turning their backs on me. I know who my friends are but I am tired of the two faced people that talk and act like they want to be my friend. Do not  BS around me. I should not lose friends because of how I act, I do not act worse than others but people think I am messed up because I have changed? There are days I wish I could tell some people off but it won't do anything.

This did not turn out how I wanted it to but oh well.

Maybe when I am a bit more awake I will know what I really meant to say. This is my personal blog which I share with people I love and care about. You know who you are. Those that stand by me and know I work hard, please do not turn your backs on me.

Signed:
GyftedArtyst

Window of Opportunity

Some days I am happy, some days I am sad, some days I question where I am going, and other days the lighbulb goes on and I hae figured out my next step! God works in mysterious ways but he never let's me down! I'm going to get personal...this won't be the first and only blog though there will be more!

So I have never been in a relationship. Those that know me, and I mean like really know me know I don't date just anyone. I have very little experience in that section. I was born in Zambia, raised in Canada, so my ways of things are different. I date for marriage. However, times have changed. I went from wanting to date when I was younger (JR & HS), like all my other friends, to having no problem with waiting(till you grow up a bit more), to thinking after some university experience "What is wrong with me?" (Why can't I find a man) But than I learned that having standards when it comes to relationships is a good thing. Respect is the one thing guy's want, and if you don't have for yourself, yeah, good luck! If there is one thing I have learned about guys it's from my sisters. Very valuable advice, the question is do I have the confidence and patience to make the advice work? I do because of God!
I am not the type of girl that chases guys, guys are supposed to come to my door, but often times the door, ahem, my door is not always open which prevents the opportunity. I believe that knowledge is power and that woman have a lot of power. Which means if there is something that I want, I just need to put a "lil umph in it". And it's true. But, it does not always work in my favor, which makes it often hard to "get the guy". I am a shy person but with the right person, right place, right timing, etc, I come out of my shell. But as usual there are some things about me that would cause a guy to question things and I just want to say that I am different than most girls, but I am also one of a kind. I am the type of girl you take home to your parents, yes I am, and I am proud my parents brought me up like that. 

A while ago my older sister put together a surprise party for her husband, and it went great. Afterwards a friend drove us home and I made a reflection about how I would defend anyone but when it comes to me, I feel like I have too much to prove. I know it's not the most positive thing to put on a blog but it shows we all have our flaws and stuff to work on, don't hold it against me for being real and raw with ya'll. Thats how I do it!


This is me saying, you have a chance to get to know me. So please don't be shy
(Please let me know if this made sense because I do proofread my work) :)

Signed:
GyftedArtyst

Oh What A Night!!!!!!

....

For a writer I often find myself with no words to explain how I feel.
But its been two days and I don't want to forget what happened so here goes:

So a few weeks back Zamnova, A Zambian group that formed years ago decided we would finally form an executive to plan events for Zambians in the Diaspora, and also we have the first Zambian conference happening in Vancouver British Columbia this Sept so we needed to start quickly and form a team to plan events, raise funds, etc.

So I was nominated and won the spot for Secretary. I am response for taking minutes at every meeting and ensuring that everyone is up to date with events, concerns, issues, and suggestions made to keep the team strong.

I am excited for what is to come, and cannot wait to get started.
We had a great turnout, a bunch of people showed up, of course it was Zambian's only, a few were not able to be there, however, it went on. Food was great, fellowship, not sure how many pictures were taken but I might be in one or two. I took a ton of my self on my phone, lol, I like taking pictures of myself. Not being arrogant, I just know I am beautiful.

I am still on the job hunt, am applying everywhere I know, everywhere I go, but everyone wants the same spot so its hard to get a job that fifteen other people do not want. But I will keep going.

Okay, I did not know I was this tired, will blog again later when I have taken my Vitamin D. I take my vitamine as often as I can and they make a difference. 

Okay, that's it for now!

Signed:
GyftedArtyst

Fear Not Faith

Firstly, Happy Father's Day to my amazing and awesome father, I love you and wish you a blessed day! As well as Happy Father's Day to all fathers and father figures!
 
I am listening to Kirk Franklin new album called "Hello Fear". I have always admired Kirk Franklin because of his genius ways of bringing everyone to Christ, and also not being afraid to share his testimony. I find sometimes Christians keep so much inside because the church is still critical towards the choices some make. **GO KIRK :)**

I grew up in church, I believe in God, I know God is a miracle worker, and I have never stopped loving or learning about him. Two years ago in England while looking after my grandmother, I used to watch the news to keep up to date as much as I could. One day there was a massive plain crash and 300 people died. The youngest I believe had been 2 or 3 years old. I could barely keep it together, and was terrified, and started having anxiety attacks, breakdowns, and felt like I had lost complete control of everything including how to process, and how to move. Yes, I was in my early twenties when I discovered that death is real. The hardest part about my trip was that I was supposed to be looking after my grandmother, but she, as always the strong woman in our family ended up looking after me. I wasn't working, and lived off of her. Got grocery's when we needed food, picked up odds and ends, would go to the market with her, the hospital, went into the city once with her, she was amazing, and we became best friends. Sadly, since than we hardly speak, but I plan to change that.
Anyway,
I have always lived in fear. Fear of being in love and being hurt, fear of not being the person that I want to be, fear of never figuring out what it is I want to do with my life, and fear I would be rejected because I am different. Not everyone is meant for school but I plan to finish, timing has just never been on my side. But now I do know that God is on my side and will never leave me. I am still a God-fearing woman, I love him for all he has done. When times get tough I know I can call on him, and of course even in good times I praise him in advance no matter what happens.
But I often feel as if I am not "Godly" enough because of how I have chosen to handle things. I do not get "in the spirit" like some friends do, and I have nothing against it. I am just not there yet, I do try, but everything takes time. I decided long ago to not let anything deter me. So instead of me being afraid, I decided to have faith, no more fear. Fear is an excuse to be lazy and I know for a fact I am not lazy. I am told by people how great and awesome I am and to hear people talk like that, makes me feel awesome and puts me on cloud 9. No arrogance at all, but compliments are important.
God is still walking with me and watching over me, he knows who I am, and will never leave. I encourage all to keep loving and learning more about God and to not give up on yourself.

Some of my favorite verses:
Eccl: 3:1 There is a time for everything.
What an great way to explain things.
Oldie but goodie: John 3:16: How can we forget????????
Philippians: 4:13 It is true that we can do all things through Christ
I have more but those are some personal favorites. Encourage other's to live in faith and not fear, but remember to not judge because we all have our own paths that we are taking. Let's love each other as God would love us
God Bless and we will chat later

Signed:
GyftedArtyst

Are You An Honest Actor?

So...

I just finished watched Just Wright with one of my fav poets and musical artists Common, and Queen Latifah whom I respect as an artist...BUT...The acting was not very well done and the fact that the Queen has not openly admitted to being a Lesbian, which we know she is...She played the love interest to Common, but I was unable to enjoy the movie because of what she is now. The movie is old, but some movies are not always findable on the internet and I just got Netflix so I can watch anything I want. I am a lover not a hater...But it really had me wondering how a lesbian can play a man's love interest...

Back to the blog...

I know acting is acting, but you have to convince the audience you can act. If you are not the best actor, you have just wasted millions making a movie. Why? I am not sure, it may have done well because of who was in it, but sometimes the person's name is not enough. I have seen the Queen in a lot of movies, and Common very few, but I know he is an incredible musical artist, as well as poet. But being an actor is an art just like writing, painting, or even dressing someone up because it takes time to really understand the craft, and the history, and etc. NOT everyone OR anyone can do it. You must train yourself, be coached, talk to people, and get feedback on how you are doing, but make sure to ask people that won't be biased, truth hurts but we need it to excel.

I feel as an artyst (I spell it with a y) still in the making, that I am not as far as I want to be, but I am putting my self out there. I am getting word out, I talk to people, I ask for feedback but positive or at least constructive so that if I need to improve, I know what to work on. I do not like it when people lie and say I was good, but that is also a confidence issue. I know I am great now, but it takes times (lol)

Soo...I am confused.

Can anyone just be an actor? Denzel Washington, and Julia Roberts, they both went to school to learn about acting and how to perfect the craft while some people just auditioned for roles they weren't sure they would get, and also needed bills to be paid. So they should get the role and suddenly go from making below min wage to being the star of a major motion picture? I mean, yeah luck is luck, but if you cannot sell a movie to me, more like a preview, chances are I will not go see the movie. I saw Common and Queen Latifah and thought it would be a great movie, but it took a while to see so after what you hear, and learn about people, things change. Maybe I am a harsh critic, but I do my best to be honest. After all why should we lie to one another? Who benefits from it?

Can you be an honest actor? Are you worth my money?

Signed:
GyftedArtyst

Love or Lust @ First Sight/Lights, Camera, Action/CUT!!!!!

  Does love at first really happen? I have heard a few stories where some people say it was love at first sight for them when they saw the person they would spend the rest of their lives with. Is it possible in less than a minute to see your future partner? And know that they would be the person you commit to every single day until death parts thee? There are some people that can answer this question if they are happily married regardless how they met. Life is short!
I also know in some cultures marriage is arranged, you may not even know the person, they may be older than you, but arranged marriage still happens in some parts of the world.
I watched the Wedding Planner, (I love Jennifer Lopez) And in the movie she and her dad had a conversation about love, and marriage and how it worked for (in the movie) for her father and her mother. He claims that she didn't want to marry him but than at some point while they were together, (still in the movie + this was a great lesson) he got sick, and she stayed by his side until he was in good health, and feelings grew and in the end, they were inseparable. So it is possible to grow to love someone, you just have to work at it. Even if the union is already decided, you still have to learn to be around the person.
I only brought this up because I have never been in love before. I have liked people, and grew to care for them very much, but have never really fallen in love with someone. I grew an emotional attachment to someone, but that was because of distance, which can also make it hard to keep the fire going, but I know people that have made it work.
I know in movies, we see things differently, let's just remind ourselves that movies are scripted and people are told what to say. Life does not work that way. In a script, you can change it however you want, but once you leave the set, things are different. And after I wrote this sentence it inspired my new title...We handle life different. I know the main thing I need in a man is for him to know and love God, if God is the center of our lives, anything is possible.

Key things I need in  relationship:
God
Trust
Communication
Honesty
Love
Patience
At the end of the some may trump others but I need these in order for things to work. If these things are not present, we work to make sure they are. I do not believe in divorce, so I am praying to God that my special someone and I are perfectly matched for each other.  If we go out picking the guy we want, he may not have all the features we want, so we settle for less, but with God, you get what you deserve.

Lust at first sight can be tricky, but we are all adults here What you do is your business and only you and God know, but I urge you to make sure you know why you are doing it.
So, lust at first sight? or love at first sight?
It can be both, or just one, but which you choose, make sure it is because you and God made this choice together.
I used to watch movies everyday or every other day, but growing up things are different, and you learn to see reality. I hope you can separate a scripted life to your life, because they go two different ways.
Our script is the bible, our parents, and family/church family, not everyone goes by the books we go by, not to say they are wrong, but, we are not the same.

Pray Until Something Happens!
Signed:
GyftedArtyst

Good Morning! Not So Great News!!!!!!!

http://au.news.yahoo.com/thewest/a/-/world/9665811/former-zambian-president-frederick-chiluba-dies/


So though I was born in Zambia, I was raised in Canada, and very often feel very disconnected from home. I love my country, I am proud of who I am, but I still often wonder, how different would my life be if I had stayed back home? I would know the language, I would have been taught differently, education is a lot more structured, and I would have come about things differently. However, that is and was not the case.

My parents brought us to Canada when I was a year and a half. They wanted better opportunities for themselves as well as for their children. My mother won a scholarship to study so she took it and we moved! I grew up in Canada, so I am familiar with how things are done. In some sense. But one thing I wish I had kept was learning and staying in touch with family, and keeping up with current events.
So last night I read statuses on FB and I discover that my former Zambian President died. I attached a link, but it is sad to know that he has passed. Although I am not around to see the work being done, I am not a fan of politics, I pass my respects to the family a will keep them in my prayers. Every country goes through it's own trials and tribulations but regardless, we all stand proud. I pray the family makes it through and I ask that you keep the former presidents family in your prayers, and to also remember to stay in touch with family, and to stay updated on current events. Knowing what goes on outside of your own world means you care and are not so wrapped up in your own world. I am learning that there is life outside of mine and I am determined to make sure I pay my respects where ever I am.
Feel free to read the link attached it talks about the death and what happened.
More to come later today!

Signed:
GyftedArtyst

Thoughts

I think a lot. Which is why I started writing when I was in elementary school. I needed a way to remember my thoughts, and I also enjoy seeing how far I have come as a person. This blog is also a way for me to let others know they are not alone in their thoughts. Life is hard, and sometimes we need a guide, or a push to ensure we do not fall off track. I have had some of my own obstacles, but I know God has seen me through them all and hat has made me a stronger person.

For those that do not really know me, here is a snippet.

I am in my mid-twenties, I am Baptist, I live at home, I am looking for a job, I write when I am bored, happy, sad, alone, inspired, in love, in lust, obsessed, etc. When I was younger I dreamed that I would be a play write. I wanted to be like Tyler Perry. His work has changed, and so has my vision. I want to write my own types of stories. God has reminded me what I love to do, and I have been motivated to continue my work. I want to paint pictures with words. I believe in audience reaction. I like knowing people understand that they do not walk alone, or stand alone, I like plays better than movies because the people can actually see the actors rather than view on screen.
(Anyway)
I am in the middle of writing two books, a poetry book, and a book on my life experiences. Check back for updates. Keep me in your prayers that a job may come through, and also pray that I finish my poetry book. It is long overdue.

Signed:
Gyfted Artyst

Environmental/Cultural Sensitivity

 I woke up early this morning to go do a shift at my old job. Temp work. I took it because it is extra cash, and it was an opportunity to be by myself, see some old friends, and chat and gossip a little bit. I must admit, I have not been hustling hard enough. I do not toot my own horn because I do not like to "boast" in front of people. I am an honest person and I do not like throwing my talents at others, let's call it, environmental or cultural sensitivity. Some people have trouble finding jobs, love, and moving into a new place, while others thrive at settling down. Me? I have learned to adjust quickly to new settings because I learned, while staying with my grandmother two years ago, that things will happen in life that I have no control over, so I have to adjust and deal. Some people do not know how to deal, but as you get older, you really do not have much of a choice.

Back to my point because I tend to get a bit offtrack, I feel people in certain situations feel that they can say whatever they want because of "privilege".  First off, the only privilege you have is to the one you are married to, not every other person in that specific race, or any other minority. (Trying not to rant) Where ever you are,  if you do not respect those around you, problems may arise. You may not mean to harm anyone, but trust me, sometimes even one word can provoke someone to do something.
Every culture is different, there are some things you can say, and some things you need to watch what you say, because even if the person you insult on purpose or by accident/for fun, others around you may take it the wrong way.
So hopefully this made sense but I felt a need to share. I know how I am around people but I have never been one to really step up and defend, but over the years I discovered how some people just talk because they want to "connect" or "relate" or "understand" you can do that but make sure you word it right, and are in the right place. Remember, not everyone thinks the way you do. Some take things nicely, other's not so nice.

I plan to follow up on this, but I would love some feedback, I think it is very important to know, there is still a lot of cultural sensitivity in this world so I ask, before you say something, please, think before you speak.
I hope I did not rant, I try to stay on track...But blogs are meant to share emotions, so if it happens it happens.

Signed:
GyftedArtyst

It's Just Emotions

One of my favorite songs by Mary J. Blige is "Take Me As I Am". I find that over the years I have changed a lot about myself because some things were hindering my growth as a person. I grew up in church but I often wondered, "How come you are here and I am not" We grow at different rates, and most times things happen if you are emotionally stable, and often times I wonder if I am. Does not mean I am mentally insane, or crazy, just that some things make me a bit more loud and aggressive than others. But I operate pretty darn well. But one thing I noticed is that no matter where you are, who you are with, evrything you do is counted, and sometimes it is counted against you, so you do have to take certain measures in life, and make sure you act right. Not be perfect, but if you know swearing, chewying loud, burping and farting are not polite especially if you are in the presence of the oppostie sex, make sure they do not have cute friends, because the way you act, your friends would not recommend you to the guys they know. It's simple logic, I have flaws, but I am still a great person. My greats outweigh the bads because I want them to. I would rather be positive than negative because nobody likes a sourpuss. Why be crany and miserable all the time? Why act childish, yell, scream and pick fights just because someone disagreed with what you said?

Growing up is not fun, we often let our emotions get the best of us. I know I do sometimes, but I do my best to control it, however I do know I that have to gain a bit more control.
It may just be emotions, but they often decide our future for us if we do not control how we react to things in life.

I hope those that know me know I try my best, so if at anytime you feel yourself losing control, make sure you have a friend to keep you in check,  I know I have a few that tell it like it is. It is not attractive to scream, swear, and lose your mind, but if he/she knows you than you will be okay.

Signed:
GyftedArtyst

Accomplishments, Achievements, and Awesomeness

So I had a conversation with a friend today about how unfair life can be and she ranted, I lectured, she got upset, I listened and though we are at least 5 years apart, and she has already graduated and so forth, she is older but there are still so many things that we have in common, that is why we are best friends, and I love her. I would do anything for her, and she for me.

Anyway, so she is a hustler, she is an amazing talented woman with so much passion, drive, and dedication, and she works blood sweat and tears to make ends meet. She deserves everything and anything, yet, God has her waiting, and waiting, and waiting still. I won't say all the personal, but she feels like God has given up on her, and I told her that is not true. God is teaching us the purpose of patience and understanding true value. God sees all that we do, and he does not neglet us no matter how much we think otherwise. I know I have been through my share of issues and obstacles, but they have made me a stronger woman, and even though I do not pray everyday or read my bible everyday, or make it to church every Sunday, I know that God knows me, he knows my heart, and he knows where I am, and as long as I know that he has forgiven me for when I sin, and I accept my failures, I know that I am okay and loved by the greatest man ever. So my one true love, is God. He won't leave me when things go bad, he will never curse me when I make a mistake, he won't hit me, slap me, or sell me to his friends or enemies because I do not do as he says, God has unconditional love which is so strong that no man can ever match that. We ALL struggle but as long as we know to get back up and thank God for watching over us, we will be fine. (I know you know I am right)

I told my friend not to lose hope and said even though it feels ike you do not have anything to know that she has God. What we go through shapes us as a person, our mentality is strengthen, our decision making skills are advanced, and we learn where ever we are, school, in a relationship, everything we encounter in life teaches us a lesson and we become better people through that.

I have done a lot in my lifetime, but the past two years do not make me what I am, they do not define me, but the lessons I learned are what gave me the ability to stand tall and say, "I made it through". I hope other people can relate. I never finished school, I do not have a full time job, I am using my talents to keep me occupied. I am writing two books, I manage my own website and I blog. I play soccer, and I enjoy being around family, I love to travel, cook, and I enjoy keeping myself together, I have also learned to love the skin within. I have my own personal accomplishments and nobody can tell me different because they have not walked in my shoes. None of us have the same story, but we have all fallen at some times in our lives, and as long as we get back up, that is the best accomplishent, achievement, and yes, it is awesome when you can say, "I did that, I am proud of where I am". And yes, I am proud. So to my friend, please, keep your head up, stand strong, opportunities are endless and though you may feel God is giving up on you, please remember that he does answer prayers! ALL THE TIME!!!

I love you, God bless, and keep being awesome
Signed:
Gyfted Artyst

Shades of Brown, & Everything Else!!!!!!!!

I wrote a poem on this a year or so ago and it was inspired by a clip from Tyra Banks show. She had displayed young African American girls and their mothers and it talked about skin color and why we dark skin girls are trying to be lighter. I for one will admit when I was young I wanted the long wavy hair, nice smooth skin, the nice body, etc. And yes over years I had weaves, clip ins, extensions, you name it, I had it. But I have gotten older and much wiser, (in some areas) and I fully believe that beauty is within. I am learning to love my own skin, accept the marks on my body, I am understanding what works best for my body, colors, shades, and how to dress for my height, personality, etc. It is not easy, but it is possible. I do enjoy trying new things, so once in a while I might document an outfit from a function to show you how us short people get down!!!!!!!! I will attach some of my work on here as well so you can really get to know me as an artyst.

I love my skin, I am now treating it with respect, and I encourage all girls to do the same.
Never doubt who you are, and never let someone convince you that your not beautiful. Because you are!
Signed:
Gyfted Artyst

Have you been tested?

Why is it that women end up being scrutinized for being respectable and honest when it comes to relationships?

We ask a guy if he has been tested, how many partners, and if he has children if you want more than just a one night stand, but most guys are smart and know what to say, how to say it, and yes, we women fall for all kinds of bullshit. Yes, it's bullshit when a guy can convince you to go "natural" in bed. Excuse me but we have rights and no matter how fine he might be, he could be the worst lover ever, and not know because women don't like to bruise a man's sexual ego. Nope, not me. I make sure to do my homework. Ladies, you have rights as not just a human being, but a female to question a guy and his motives with you. I would do it on the first date because you are allowed if you feel the date may go beyond dinner, a movie, and a walk to your place, if you both hint that you want a loving, be prepared to ask the question, and never fear because you are putting your future on the line.

Women need to learn to stick up for themselves whether it is in bed, on the street, or in front of friends and you are being sold out by one of your own.

I am no expert but I watch a lot of movies, television, and I have siblings married, cousins and family and I am learning to observe a lot. If you are not aware of what is going on in your bed, your body, or in your community, you can end up messing yourself up pretty badly.

As BET claims to state,
Know Your Status!
You have EVERY right to ask him, and if he puts up a fuss, he is hiding stuff so confront him and walk away. If he becomes abusive, make sure you have 911 on speed dial or have a loud scream and are not afraid to yell rape.

What A Year

It has been quite a year so far. Time flies and I know the new year is right around the corner. So I have decided to capture the rest of the year via internet!!!!! Enjoy