R.I.P

I wrote this the day Mr. Layton passed but never posted...

Yesterday morning the Canada lot a great leader. Jack Layton passed away from a cancer. He was 61 years old.

We treat life as if we have forever, when really, we only have the days we are given. We take so much for granted, yet we forget that one day, we could lose everything we have within minutes. I will keep this short, but I just wanted to say Prayers to the Layton family, relatives, though I never knew him personally, I know he accomplished a lot while he was alive.

I hope and pray for a better day tomorrow, and that no matter how tough things get, that we will always be thankful for what we have. Life is just way too short to worry about the little things, to judge others, and waste time, we need to really give God time to say thank you, because we would not where we are without him.

Signed:
GyftedArtyst

Undecisive Conclusion

Love is full of emotions, feelings, actions, thoughts and of course, words that are often hard to find.
But we manage to find them because they are important to us, and we know that love is so precious and hard to find, that once we do find it, we have to fight so hard not to lose it.


Love makes a person go crazy. I have seen it first hand, but love can also make a person lose her mind being in love with someone that will do anything to make her happy. Why be unhappy when you can laugh and smile all day? We want a type of love that will get us through the tough times. When he forgets to pay a bill because of work, or he left his laundry all over the living room and you are tired of 'waiting" for him to pick it up...We all know that women and men are TWO  different creatures, yet we, women want men to act like we do. "NOT GONNA HAPPEN" Just ask the expert, Steve Harvey. Don't really ask him he only knows what he has gone through. He has heard the stories of what others go through and based on what his past has been like he shares how to deal with it, he is only an expert on what he has gone through.

Anyway, love does not abuse, misuse or make one feel like less of a person, would you consider that love?

God states in 1 Corinthian that love is patient, love is kind, it does not boast, it is not proud, it has no records of wrongs, and holds no grudge. Now, we all know its hard to do and be either of these, but when we present or act upon the rules  God has laid out, it is not that hard to find love or be loved, it is about maintaining what you have and working with it because you made a promise in front of people and God swearing you would obey. So you have to obey. Being in  relationship will make you wonder, "Why did I pick this person? He has stopped showing me kindness, like when we first met, he stopped telling me he loves me, and we speak less." He will only know how you feel once you tell him. NEVER assume he knows how you feel just because he is supposed to know you. It does not work that way. Not that I have seen.

Sooooo....love has made us go nuts and also made us so insane we want to declare it on  FB, (Not a fan of PDA, as long as he/she knows that's what matters) We need to stop looking for approval from the public and only worry about in front of us.

So, will YOUR love make it or did you fall for the wrong reasons? It is okay to confess, it's good for the soul, but confess to the one that counts, the opinion that matters. Only God can judge you..

Signed:
GyftedArtyst

Does Love Exist/Soul Traits

My favorite/least favorite topic...

I know that love is real, but sometimes when you see people, married, couples, friends, I wonder if love was the main ingredient used to ensure everlasting happiness?

I come back to this blog after a couple weeks of ignoring it for personal and blogging reasons. I had a conversation with my family. I asked "how come nobody knocks on my door?", why doesn't anyone find me worth getting to know? Why am I still single and I'm hitting my mid-twenties? Time is changing that even our generation will marry later in life. But than my parents talked about being mentally developed and it made a lot of sense. I have a strong personality, but I am also the quietest, most shy person you can ever meet. My hard shell hides the big strong me. But no really, relationships and marriage are a LOT of work. I mention all the time that my parents have been married for 30 years next April, that is a long time. couples in Hollywood now are divorcing..Why are people not obeying God's rule of through thick or through thin? Is love no longer a part of the equation or have couples forgotten why they fell in love with" my tall dark and handsome, or my other half whom they met only months prior...There have been a lot of quick romances, and some couples are still just "together" Brangelina now have six kids and are still going strong...Seriously, she made that work...Anyhoo,
When talking to my sister, she mentioned that she does not believe in soul mate because we can have more than one. And I see how and why. When picking someone, we want someone with ambition, determination, and passion, and of course is loving. These traits make for a great person, and if she is beautiful, heck that is a bonus. But these days looks are not the main ingredient. Education, work, family, where she comes from, how she was raised, what she does not, etc. Back than we married for security unless you really did find your true love, and if you did, I salute you and wish you every happiness.

But some people marry to stay secure because they know what they need, as do the parents. It's a cultural thing. Look at  P.Diddy, he has two girlfriends who both know about each other...Cassie and Kim Parker. He has kids with one, and the other knows that she needs his 'security" to stay in the place that she is in. We all know, and she knows what she is to him, and maybe her family knows too, she will only make it so far, but she has what she needs now. He will treat her like a princess, but he won't marry her. But he can also drop her so fast, leaving her stranded, we all know Jennifer Lopez is on the market again and he knows when to make his move. Just you wait...(That marriage, J-Lo and Marc Anthony) was messed up too but hey...Gotta do what ya gotta do.

Back on track. Traits are what make a person appealing. If they have what you want, cooking skills, cleaning skills, can take care of babies, enjoys having a conversation about anything from politics to movies, to books to traveling, etc. she is a keeper. Like I also stated, looks won't always count anymore...

I hope you find your soul traits, someone that fits everything you want and need in a person and you know you can make it work with them.
I pray we all find that one person we can work with and stick with them. Vows are important, life is precious and it stops being about you once someone else comes in your life. It is a lot to handle and if you cannot handle it, don't mess up the routine of someone else just because you think they are pretty. It isn't worth it...

Signed:
GyftedArtyst

The Help

The movie was The Help was downplayed quite a bit because it was set in such a racist time, yet they should nothing about domestic abuse, the abuse of the help, we all know back than if any major events happened they would have shown, however, it was a quite movie which focused on the "heroism" of the writer. I don't think Emma Stone should have been portrayed as the "hero" because yes, I will say it, the real hero's are the women that go through the garbage and nonsense that they go through everyday, and still come back strong no matter what. She made Viola Davis shine because she showed her as the "mother" of the women that spent hours in the homes of the white folk. Now, if you were one of those angry black women that just want to be angry that "The Help" were treated how they were because they were Black, try to remember that we do not always have to be angry, it is about how we react.

If you want to be angry, be angry but it's pointless being mad about something that happened years before you were born, what can you do about it that has not already been done?

It was a great movie, read the book first though, I should have read the book but I plan too. Sometimes things do not always add up but we do our best to fight and earn what we want, life does not always take us where we want but we live with it.

Check out the movie, it is #1 in the box office, I hope Viola Davis is recognized for her role but we know how Hollywood "forgets" our people. Anyway, that's another blog for another day!!

Signed:
GyftedArtyst

Would You Wait?

Would you wait for a man to grow up and be a man before marrying him?

Confused, let me explain, would you be with someone for a long time, knowing that marriage is on your mind, not his, and still stay with him until he is ready?

It's asking a lot of a woman to give up what she deserves just because a man is either "scared" or "not there yet" which is kinda like being scared. Ive read articles about women that waited over ten years to be married to a man who "just wasn't there yet" and honestly, it's not easy. My older sister was with her now husband for 6.5-7 years. They knew each other growing up, but nothing happened until years later. They have been married for two years but at the time, most of the relationship was long distance, but he moved home, and the rest is history.
It takes men a while to really get a grip on where they are in life. To men, it's more than just about the paper coming in, it's about stability, financially, emotionally, mentally, environmentally, physically,  and how much ambition he has to accomplish his goals, or how depressed he is with how the world is changing and he just hasn't caught up yet and instead of being the "man he was" he goes to the 'coach potato, with no hope and no future." Would you give up or keep pushing?

Anyway, I see these people in relationships longer than five years and I wonder, how do you do it? is marriage an option or it's been so long that you just never thought about it? I can't speak on this issue personally but I wonder if love was enough to keep me with a man for years and not be married.
We all know men need the extra push. It's important for men to have the "I'm a man feel" You cannot, and should not take that from a man. It isn't right, but it happens because women feel they can control a man...in a way yes..But not to go off track...Never speak on what you have not gone through. So I wont say how I feel, it's more of a question for women that have waited, or women that are waiting...

Well, guess we will have to wait and see what the future holds.

Signed:
GyftedArtyst

Have You Ever????

Have you ever had a conversation with someone that made you really see just the type of person that you are? Good or bad?

I have been in the position for the first time, and it did not feel good.
I am always told my friends and family just how smart beautiful, and that any guy who picks me would be the luckiest guy in the world. I've heard it enough times to want to cry, but I realize now more than ever, that settling for less than what you deserve, is not right, and despite the hardships that life has us go through, whether we lose a best friend, or our parents get divorced, or we move to a new city and have to make new friends every few years, whatever we deal with, we do not go through the process alone. I have an amazing family, that has given me the utmost support. They have given me pep talks on love, friends, family, etc, and continue to remind me that everything in life takes time, and that rushing into stuff will only cause harm. I am a very determined person, dedicated, and passionate about life. Only when times have been tough, I have shown less happiness because it is hard to smile when you are feeling down. But, I am a firm believer that things will turn around. I know this because I have seen the miracles in my family, and I know that we would not be the people that we are without God and the support of the community.

I wake up some day wondering, when will I get my big break, when will I finally see my name in lights, when will the rest of my goals be achieved, and as I think about it now, my dreams will only happen if I stay focused and do not lose sight of what matters and what is important.

In a conversation that I had with a friend, I was told that men are intimidated by independence and smarts. I explained the one thing that I am afraid of and that is not being enough because of my education. I never finished university, and never knew growing up what I wanted to do. I never had a plan, and felt in conversations that I had nothing to offer. Besides my writing, I have always felt a bit inadequate and never quite knew how to handle it, however, the things I have accomplished, big or small, people see the real me, my actions have shaped my character and helped me to see things in a different light.

You can be told all your life how great you are, how incredible your writing is, but unless you feel it deep down inside, than you will not convince anyone.

The reason for this blog was to allow me to see that sometimes you are too good for someone, but it should be motivation to better you and not make the other person feel bad. It might seem that way, but I am learning to turn a negative into a positive.

Signed:
GyftedArtyst

I Was There

I threw this together some time back, and now just finished it...Let me know your thoughts

I was the girl that people walked past
I was the girl that was ignored
I was the girl that you thought about, looked at, and talked about, but never spoke to
And you wonder why I eyed you the way I did
It's because you treated me the way you did
Why should I give you my time
When you don't even think I am worth a dime?
You act like a man but you speak like a child
And you wonder why a woman like me now, would go for a man like him?
It' because he sees the woman I am, and the woman I can be
He does not choose when to use me, and when to abuse me
He chooses when to love me, cherish me, and hold me
He chooses to make me smile, wipe my tears and comfort me when I sigh
He chooses to stand by me, defend me, and help me fight my battles
But you, preferred to fight against me, and watch me fall alone, with no hope of getting back up
He choose to challenge me, but not act better than me, he chose to help me, and to love me
You chose to fight me, and harm me, not protect me, And
while you chose to be that way, I chose a man who learned to say, "I love you" with his actions, thoughts, and his personality
I hope you learned your lesson, to never let something great go

Signed:
GyftedArtyst

How To Be A Man Vs. Be Who You Are

http://iamboigenius.com/boris-kodjoe-schools-twitter-on-how-to-be-a-man/

I really won't say much but I thought that this was really neat, and encourage men to take a look, and share your thoughts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Signed:
GyftedArtyst

Ain't Waiting!!

http://www.essence.com/2011/08/a09/real-talk-are-white-men-the-answer/

There is nothing wrong with dating outside your race. There is nothing wrong with being happy, and knowing the person you are with can confide in you, trust you, communicate with you, knows you better than you know yourself, and most of all, is willing to fight tooth and nail for you and show you unconditional love. When you find a man like that, regardless of where he is from, do what it takes to keep him. He will do what is necessary to be with you, and you should never think twice about letting a man like him go. I am open, and though I have my preferences, I deserve happiness, and a best friend whom I know will protect me through to the end.
Once you find God, you find everything else that you neeed.
Real love is rare but it is possible to have if you trust God to find it.

Signed:
GyftedArtyst

Opposites Attract

Do opposites really attract? Is it possible that two people from two different cultures can meet, get to know each other, respect each other, and make it work? I do not want to use the term fall in love because it is a bit, what's the word, "abused" but that does not mean I do not believe in it. I just feel that there is more to happiness than love.

For me, when meeting someone, I am a bit of a non-traditionalist. Just ask my family, friends, they will tell you. I won't always wait for the guy to approach me, if I know I have a chance, I will go for it. I am not always afraid, but when it comes to someone I think I stand a chance with, or think that there could be something, that's when I stumble. See, for me, I am borderline proper, and non-traditional. So I do think the rules should change just a bit, but I still believe some things can remain the same. I do not believe in casual dating, but I do believe you can enjoy someone's company, and get to know them. That is excluding friends with benefits because I know I am not that type. Can you fall for the opposite of yourself? Yes you can. Now, this is where things get funny/interesting, and I will go a bit off track here, when it comes to a relationship, you should know in your heart, what you deserve, what you want, and what you are willing to fight for. The perspectives of others will not count unless you let them. So if you go against some of the rules on your checklist, knowing in your heart why you chose that, must you be exiled? Never, life has changed, the rules have changed, and I know that I have changed. So when I consider someone that I want to spend time with, I know that who I am now, is not who I was fifteen years ago, five years ago, two years ago, etc. My wants, needs, desires, ambitions, goals, and preferences have changed. They changed because I had to evaluate everything and in doing that, there are choices I would make, that others would question...But I say, "Your opinion is just that...Yours, and as much as I appreciate you looking out for me, I am aware of my choice and have considered the outcome and am prepared to handle what comes my way." (Very well answered if I say so myself. :) )

Okay, back on track...

I will try not to sound like a personals ad, but I know the type of person that I am, and I have a versatile personality. I can be an aggressive loud girl who does not give a rats about who is around her, speaks her mind and stands her ground. I can be the shy quiet ambient type, who just wants to hang back and keep to herself, prefers her own company, and enjoys thinking and pondering about her future. I can be the funny, socialite, dances like nobody is watching type of girl,  OR I could be the angry, sad and tired girl that just wants to be left alone. It's hard to be who you are because so much of the time you are surrounded by people from different backgrounds and it becomes too hard to "find a good fit" So I am just who I am. If someone out there matches my loud personality and is not afraid to challenge me, please, I challenge you. A bit "personals" type there but oh well. Opposites do attract.

At this point I have had three blogs open for a week and decided to just finish them. If you read and weren't sure, feel free to ask, that's the best way to learn.

Signed:
GyftedArtyst

Open Relationships/Marriage?

This will be very short, I've been on this blog for almost a week and a half and tonight I decided to just end it.

I do not believe in open marriages. Life stops being about you once you bring someone in your life.
I know everyone has their own opinions but we know that this world is known for it's greed. We need to sacrifice more, and be less selfish.

That's really all I had to say

Signed:
GyftedArtyst

FWB/Terms & Conditions

FWB! Friends With Benefits! This is a trend just like the whole mo hawk look with skinny jeans and fake glasses people find hot.( I do not mean to offend anyone I just don't feel the style myself....) Personally, I'm not a fan of following trends.

Why have friends with benefits? What ever happened to standards? I do not believe men and women can just be friends. People think it is possible, and I wrote a blog on this a while ago, but after watching the movie, (BTW Justin Timberlake is not a good actor, they should have used James Franco....Or the Blonde dude from Fantastic Four (stretch dude) it's just one movie, but still. We are afraid of commitment and proving to one another that we will "stick with you in good times and bad". My parents have been married for 30 years next April. That's a long time. In Hollywood, a couple that makes it to a year is a big deal, but the big thing now is just being together without a ring and a ceremony, and now kids are involved. My only issue, is that what about your kids? I watched an episode of Single Ladies which I like very much because it shows what single women really do go through, relationships, exes, being friends with benefits, etc. It's not easy. Valerie had made a promise to herself to be friends with a guy and just get to know him before allowing him to woo her into dating him. She can afford nice things, she has a great job, does well and does not need a man to complete her, but she wants the whole marriage and kids setting, and some men just want the benefits package. Val's first boyfriend Quinn was a professional Basketball player. They were together for five years, but he never planned on marrying her, and he was not in love with her, he just enjoyed her company, and he knew she could pull herself together. She has a great body at her age, and is not afraid to show it. So when she and her friends are celebrating the shop open, somehow the convo turns to marriage and why it never happened for those two. She breaks up with him because he claimed he never loved her, etc....So months later she meets this guy Jerry, he owns her ex-boyfriends team, and after spending lots of days, weeks, time away, Jerry decides to tell Val, (after seeing her in a wedding dress) that he refuses to marry again and have kids, but is willing to be with her for the rest of his life. He's been married three times, and already has kids, and knew after that not to do it again...Poor Val. She wants the real deal, he just wants his deal. So she breaks up with him because she deserves more and won't settle. I said, "good for her"

If a man wants you to settle because of his conditions, do not do it. If you know you are the type to get married, have kids, travel the world, etc, do that, but never let a man tell you, "if you love me, you'll do this" because that's not true. If a man loved you, he would consider your feelings and your future plans and he would find a way to compromise. We are all entitled to being happy, laughing, being treated right, and of course, spoiled once in a while, but we should never give up what we want to please someone else.
My own personal choice is to let the guy know upfront, when I'm ready to settle, what I really want. I am the type that wants the mushy romance. I do want to get married, I want kids, I love traveling, I want to try new things, but I need someone who won't ask me to give that up. I know the type of person that I am, and if a guy cares about more than himself, he will consider my future with his.

So this whole FWB thing? Not my thing, and I do not think anyone should settle for less. Never let someone tell you how to live life. There will always be another guy out there for you, just don't give up, trust God, and keep doing you. You will regret your choice if you settle, in the end you will regret him/her, so I urge you to make sure before you sign the dotted line, to read over the terms and conditions. Honesty is better than lying.

Signed;
GyftedArtyst