When I was in high school, yes, I had my fair share of fun, laughter, tears, insults given and thrown, embarrassing moments, moments of praise, etc. But what I did not encounter was discovering love.
I grew up in a home with three sisters, two older and one younger. My two older sisters definitely had things a bit easier for them. Guys would just throw themselves at my sisters, and it made me look at them with awe. And the question I had on my mind was, "how did they do that? How did they manage to get any and every guy to knock on the house door, call them on the phone, and pick them up for a movie, get into concerts free, or simply just enjoy the company of another male...They had the magic touch. Confidence. That's what I've been working on the past while. In high school, and university guys never knocked on my door, so I never dated, went out with guys for fun, or just had guy friends. I am very personable, I hope you are starting to see that. It helps people see that I go through things in life, and I share how I handled it. I don't like people making assumptions about me, or deciding things for me, I want someone to see me for who I am, and not for what my family does. That does not mean I will ignore the commandment of honor thy mother and father, it just means that I want to shine so that people see who I am, and not through what my family does. Get past the fear, and have faith!!!
I had the chance to go for "coffee" Well, I had a smoothie on a cold rainy day because I'm not able to enjoy dairy products like some people do. So I enjoyed a nice thick Orange Mango smoothie which when the weather is better and I'm sweating I will enjoy. it's a nice filler, and if you want something to keep you for a little while and don't mind spending 5 bucks once a pay check, (Starbucks is a bit up there...) than go for it! So I was chatting with a good friend, and she made me see just how smart and intelligent I really am. I am very mature for my age, but though I am mature, I make mistakes, we all do. I say things when I shouldn't, but I apologize and back track and I start over...I forget to get things done, or if I can't get to the whole list I try to do what I can, and I say when I can have it accomplished. I am creative and I improvise because as an artist, often times we have to find new ways to get things done...So I am learning to just do what I have to do and it will be done when it's done. Anyway, a bit offtrack... I told my friend I needed an older guy, where some might say, "older, aren't you young?" I say, "I'm 24, and because of how I was raised, and who I hang out with, I know what works for me and what doesn't. What works for me is an older guy. (Over 24, nothing lower) Though I have never dated, I have had encounters that were not so nice, and one major friendship that just went really wrong and it hurt a lot, and sometimes even almost 8 months later, I think about things I went through, and how I put my all and got nothing back...I met guys that did not know what they wanted and it hurt a bit but as Beyonce says in her new song "Best Thing I Never Had", "thank God I dodged a bullet" and "I am the best thing he never had." Hurtful but it's the truth. It won't always be pretty so man up and grow up fellas!
Do I have my eye on someone, yes, does he know? I thought he did, but that's until I realized that my flirting level was a bit low, and it takes time and practice...But I mentioned earlier, I don't give up, and I believe in sacrifices because I have seen that making sacrifices and being patient is what makes things worth it in the end, and if I play my cards right...It might work out...But, Step one is to be friends...And just go with the flow.
Being alone is hard, and I have never really been seriously involved with anyone. I travel a lot, wit family and on my own, and I'd love to travel more, but right now work and school are on the top of my list. Doing what I love with the people I love, playing soccer, writing, and blogging, being creative and showing off my talents help me stay distracted, but when I don't have either to focus on work, and I go for a walk, I am reminded of being alone and it makes me wish I had someone to share time with. Someone to laugh with, talk sports, social justice, how life is, jobs, the events seen, etc...I have lots of female friends, (don't laugh) So it would be nice to have a male friend to just chat with, and grow to care for...If that makes sense because I know men and women cannot be friends really, it's too hard...In the end they just want to rip each others clothes off and make made passionate love. I'm a huge romantic. But it would be nice to have someone by your side instead of always being alone. I am used to being alone, and I am okay with being alone, but I would like to grow with someone and hope and pray that it turns into more than just a friendship.
I hope you ave enjoyed my blogs and will keep checking them out.
God Bless
Signed:
GyftedArtyst
