FWB! Friends With Benefits! This is a trend just like the whole mo hawk look with skinny jeans and fake glasses people find hot.( I do not mean to offend anyone I just don't feel the style myself....) Personally, I'm not a fan of following trends.
Why have friends with benefits? What ever happened to standards? I do not believe men and women can just be friends. People think it is possible, and I wrote a blog on this a while ago, but after watching the movie, (BTW Justin Timberlake is not a good actor, they should have used James Franco....Or the Blonde dude from Fantastic Four (stretch dude) it's just one movie, but still. We are afraid of commitment and proving to one another that we will "stick with you in good times and bad". My parents have been married for 30 years next April. That's a long time. In Hollywood, a couple that makes it to a year is a big deal, but the big thing now is just being together without a ring and a ceremony, and now kids are involved. My only issue, is that what about your kids? I watched an episode of Single Ladies which I like very much because it shows what single women really do go through, relationships, exes, being friends with benefits, etc. It's not easy. Valerie had made a promise to herself to be friends with a guy and just get to know him before allowing him to woo her into dating him. She can afford nice things, she has a great job, does well and does not need a man to complete her, but she wants the whole marriage and kids setting, and some men just want the benefits package. Val's first boyfriend Quinn was a professional Basketball player. They were together for five years, but he never planned on marrying her, and he was not in love with her, he just enjoyed her company, and he knew she could pull herself together. She has a great body at her age, and is not afraid to show it. So when she and her friends are celebrating the shop open, somehow the convo turns to marriage and why it never happened for those two. She breaks up with him because he claimed he never loved her, etc....So months later she meets this guy Jerry, he owns her ex-boyfriends team, and after spending lots of days, weeks, time away, Jerry decides to tell Val, (after seeing her in a wedding dress) that he refuses to marry again and have kids, but is willing to be with her for the rest of his life. He's been married three times, and already has kids, and knew after that not to do it again...Poor Val. She wants the real deal, he just wants his deal. So she breaks up with him because she deserves more and won't settle. I said, "good for her"
If a man wants you to settle because of his conditions, do not do it. If you know you are the type to get married, have kids, travel the world, etc, do that, but never let a man tell you, "if you love me, you'll do this" because that's not true. If a man loved you, he would consider your feelings and your future plans and he would find a way to compromise. We are all entitled to being happy, laughing, being treated right, and of course, spoiled once in a while, but we should never give up what we want to please someone else.
My own personal choice is to let the guy know upfront, when I'm ready to settle, what I really want. I am the type that wants the mushy romance. I do want to get married, I want kids, I love traveling, I want to try new things, but I need someone who won't ask me to give that up. I know the type of person that I am, and if a guy cares about more than himself, he will consider my future with his.
So this whole FWB thing? Not my thing, and I do not think anyone should settle for less. Never let someone tell you how to live life. There will always be another guy out there for you, just don't give up, trust God, and keep doing you. You will regret your choice if you settle, in the end you will regret him/her, so I urge you to make sure before you sign the dotted line, to read over the terms and conditions. Honesty is better than lying.
Signed;
GyftedArtyst
