Firstly, Happy Father's Day to my amazing and awesome father, I love you and wish you a blessed day! As well as Happy Father's Day to all fathers and father figures!
I am listening to Kirk Franklin new album called "Hello Fear". I have always admired Kirk Franklin because of his genius ways of bringing everyone to Christ, and also not being afraid to share his testimony. I find sometimes Christians keep so much inside because the church is still critical towards the choices some make. **GO KIRK :)**
I grew up in church, I believe in God, I know God is a miracle worker, and I have never stopped loving or learning about him. Two years ago in England while looking after my grandmother, I used to watch the news to keep up to date as much as I could. One day there was a massive plain crash and 300 people died. The youngest I believe had been 2 or 3 years old. I could barely keep it together, and was terrified, and started having anxiety attacks, breakdowns, and felt like I had lost complete control of everything including how to process, and how to move. Yes, I was in my early twenties when I discovered that death is real. The hardest part about my trip was that I was supposed to be looking after my grandmother, but she, as always the strong woman in our family ended up looking after me. I wasn't working, and lived off of her. Got grocery's when we needed food, picked up odds and ends, would go to the market with her, the hospital, went into the city once with her, she was amazing, and we became best friends. Sadly, since than we hardly speak, but I plan to change that.
Anyway,
I have always lived in fear. Fear of being in love and being hurt, fear of not being the person that I want to be, fear of never figuring out what it is I want to do with my life, and fear I would be rejected because I am different. Not everyone is meant for school but I plan to finish, timing has just never been on my side. But now I do know that God is on my side and will never leave me. I am still a God-fearing woman, I love him for all he has done. When times get tough I know I can call on him, and of course even in good times I praise him in advance no matter what happens.
But I often feel as if I am not "Godly" enough because of how I have chosen to handle things. I do not get "in the spirit" like some friends do, and I have nothing against it. I am just not there yet, I do try, but everything takes time. I decided long ago to not let anything deter me. So instead of me being afraid, I decided to have faith, no more fear. Fear is an excuse to be lazy and I know for a fact I am not lazy. I am told by people how great and awesome I am and to hear people talk like that, makes me feel awesome and puts me on cloud 9. No arrogance at all, but compliments are important.
God is still walking with me and watching over me, he knows who I am, and will never leave. I encourage all to keep loving and learning more about God and to not give up on yourself.
Some of my favorite verses:
Eccl: 3:1 There is a time for everything.
What an great way to explain things.
Oldie but goodie: John 3:16: How can we forget????????
Philippians: 4:13 It is true that we can do all things through Christ
I have more but those are some personal favorites. Encourage other's to live in faith and not fear, but remember to not judge because we all have our own paths that we are taking. Let's love each other as God would love us
God Bless and we will chat later
Signed:
GyftedArtyst
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