I decided to attend Poetry Night. I haven't gone in maybe four months because things were becoming too different, and I didn't fit it. When Speak was at Gingers, I felt like I was a part of a family. I remember my first night on stage. I was sooo nervous, but they took me in. The diversity, the culture, the way they hugged me and smiled at me, yes, it made me feel like I mattered, and that I was important. We all want to feel like we mean something to someone, or that we matter to a project, or a company. I've worked in companies where I was treated very badly. My lack of education and "no sense of direction" told my boss that I wasn't good enough. But I wasn't strong enough to stand up for my self. There are days when I am still too weak to defend my self, but I know now that I am my worst enemy, and I am not letting mys elf be scared anymore. Even though Speak has a different crowd, and some of the diversity is gone, it does not mean that it should stay that way. We can change things and make them ten times better. With work, and a strong team of dedicated passionate poets, anything is possible.
A friend of mine has been pushing me for so long to do what I love, but fear has held me back for years. I fear not being good enough, and no being liked, I fear not being seen for my style of writing. I don't write my poems like this, if you've read my work, you would know. Some maybe, but not all.
But this one person, every time I talk to them, I am encouraged to write again, but once I begin, the inner thoughts tell me I am not good enough, when I know for a fact, I am amazing. People have todl me, and I know that I have what it takes.
So I encourage you to show some love and support for a fellow writer/poet and the Company House tomorrow night on Gottingen Street, with all the strength I have, I am getting up on stage. Just pray I do not get nervous, it's been a while!
Time: 8:30-11:30
Bring 5 bucks
And an open mind
Signed:
GyftedArtyst
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Can't Touch This
http://www.cnn.com/2011/LIVING/07/25/touching.natural.black.hair/index.html
I stumbled upon this article the other day, and I knew how this person felt. I do not mind people asking about my hair, but do NOT, just grab my hair and pretend it belongs to you. That hair is physically attached to my head, and the last time I checked, it is not on display for some white person to just touch on his/her own free will.
There, (phew, got out the anger, now to focus on the blog. lol)
The one job where I worked was my first job, that's when my hair struck up conversation.
"Is that your real hair? Can I touch it? It feels like sheeps wool." I showed up to work with my hair in a weave, and my co-workers asked to see what my real hair looked like, on the floor of the shop. I mean, honestly, I'm not some display where a person is situated, and you peek under to see what the real hair is, how it is sewed in, glued in, like really people??? I am human, if you want to know just ask without touching, or asking to touch. I like my space and it doesn't mean I am being rude but it is my body. It is OUR body that you feel you can handle without care.
All races use fake hair in their own hair. White people like volume and length, different colors etc, so they added clip-on's or hair pieces for ponytails. so they can add something. When I was a kid, I had cornrows growing up, than into junior high and high school, weaves, extensions, hair pieces, a wig or two, my styles were always different. There were times I had my real hair out, short, permed, straightened, curled, as long as it looked good and I could rock it I had no problems. But some people always had something to say. People will always comment, just learn to ignore it and live your own life.
Now I am very comfy in my own skin. I've rocked and an Afro, but I only do extensions because weaves make me feel limited. I think the world has accepted that we people of color whether Asian, Hispanic, Black Nova Scotian, etc, we know who we are and do not need fake hair to feel good, we wear it to help our own hair grow. That's why I wear braids. To help my hair grow.
(Correct me if I have made a mistake)
Everyone in this world is different and I encourage you to read up on African/Black history. You will be amazed. I need to brush up, it's been a while, I have over ten book I need to read, started lots but never finished.
hair is a sign of strength for Blacks and African Americans. What is your strength?
Signed:
GyftedArtyst
I stumbled upon this article the other day, and I knew how this person felt. I do not mind people asking about my hair, but do NOT, just grab my hair and pretend it belongs to you. That hair is physically attached to my head, and the last time I checked, it is not on display for some white person to just touch on his/her own free will.
There, (phew, got out the anger, now to focus on the blog. lol)
The one job where I worked was my first job, that's when my hair struck up conversation.
"Is that your real hair? Can I touch it? It feels like sheeps wool." I showed up to work with my hair in a weave, and my co-workers asked to see what my real hair looked like, on the floor of the shop. I mean, honestly, I'm not some display where a person is situated, and you peek under to see what the real hair is, how it is sewed in, glued in, like really people??? I am human, if you want to know just ask without touching, or asking to touch. I like my space and it doesn't mean I am being rude but it is my body. It is OUR body that you feel you can handle without care.
All races use fake hair in their own hair. White people like volume and length, different colors etc, so they added clip-on's or hair pieces for ponytails. so they can add something. When I was a kid, I had cornrows growing up, than into junior high and high school, weaves, extensions, hair pieces, a wig or two, my styles were always different. There were times I had my real hair out, short, permed, straightened, curled, as long as it looked good and I could rock it I had no problems. But some people always had something to say. People will always comment, just learn to ignore it and live your own life.
Now I am very comfy in my own skin. I've rocked and an Afro, but I only do extensions because weaves make me feel limited. I think the world has accepted that we people of color whether Asian, Hispanic, Black Nova Scotian, etc, we know who we are and do not need fake hair to feel good, we wear it to help our own hair grow. That's why I wear braids. To help my hair grow.
(Correct me if I have made a mistake)
Everyone in this world is different and I encourage you to read up on African/Black history. You will be amazed. I need to brush up, it's been a while, I have over ten book I need to read, started lots but never finished.
hair is a sign of strength for Blacks and African Americans. What is your strength?
Signed:
GyftedArtyst
Live/Laugh, But Most Importantly, Learn
Life is all about learning. I learn new things about myself all the time. I know most people see an angry version of me, but there is a happy version of me. I try really hard to walk the walk AND talk the talk, but things get in the way and we often get thrown off track, as long as you get back up again, no worries right?
I laugh when things are funny, I smile when I'm happy, and when I'm upset, well, I blog about it but I share my feelings. Or I do my best to. I do not hide behind my computer, I am just home a lot and I enjoy spending time on my laptop, looking up different things, watching movies I'd never watch, shows I miss when I am out, I live at home so I help out a lot. Cleaning, cooking, whatever needs to be done, I make sure I achieve the goals for the day. I am learning to help out because my parents should not have to do it if I am home. One thing I see now is that maybe I am not supposed to be working. It may sound bad, but I see it as an opportunity to spend time on things I normally cannot do if I was working 35-40 hours a week. You get up early, spend an hour getting ready, leave for work, you spend 8 hours getting done what you can, than some days you have other events that you help out with, meetings, maybe a friend wants to see a movie, or go for coffee, or you have errands to run. That's a lot on a person. And some would say that's life, but that life can make a person so tired you want to sleep in on the weekends, and forget everything else. And think if the person was in school, and working, and still doing other events, it's a lot to do, and you get home and you still have to have supper, clean up, and plan the next few days, you don't have time to write, like I want to, and right now, I really need that. So the way I see it, God is blessing me by and telling me to take in the time I have right now because some jobs are so demanding they require overtime, and bringing work home, (Not on my watch) Yeah, no. I don't even mind working part-time. That's how serious I am about doing what I love. I want to be a professional play writer and I am determined to make it happen!
It takes me a long time to really see what God is trying to say. I have trouble listening and that is not good. I do my best, like I always say, but there are times when I really forget to listen and God throws signs in front of me to a point where I can't ignore. Like some signs this year that sent sent were to keep braiding because it makes you happy. I was braiding mostly on the weekends when I was still working, but by the first week of Feb, I was a free woman. (Unemployed) It felt weird not getting up, but I got used to it. I job hunted like crazy, I used all my resources, but things weren't changing. I Had to learn a new way. And that's all I've been doing. Learning a new way live my life. From the way I eat, to how I dress, to the way I talk, text, move, where I go, if finding a man won't work at Poetry night, try at a soccer game, or maybe go on a trip, and find a guy on a plane. (I found a guy in an airport...Didn't go far but the point is it happened where I least expected it.)
So you can find what you just keep your options and your eyes open and listen to God.
Signed;
GyftedArtyst
I laugh when things are funny, I smile when I'm happy, and when I'm upset, well, I blog about it but I share my feelings. Or I do my best to. I do not hide behind my computer, I am just home a lot and I enjoy spending time on my laptop, looking up different things, watching movies I'd never watch, shows I miss when I am out, I live at home so I help out a lot. Cleaning, cooking, whatever needs to be done, I make sure I achieve the goals for the day. I am learning to help out because my parents should not have to do it if I am home. One thing I see now is that maybe I am not supposed to be working. It may sound bad, but I see it as an opportunity to spend time on things I normally cannot do if I was working 35-40 hours a week. You get up early, spend an hour getting ready, leave for work, you spend 8 hours getting done what you can, than some days you have other events that you help out with, meetings, maybe a friend wants to see a movie, or go for coffee, or you have errands to run. That's a lot on a person. And some would say that's life, but that life can make a person so tired you want to sleep in on the weekends, and forget everything else. And think if the person was in school, and working, and still doing other events, it's a lot to do, and you get home and you still have to have supper, clean up, and plan the next few days, you don't have time to write, like I want to, and right now, I really need that. So the way I see it, God is blessing me by and telling me to take in the time I have right now because some jobs are so demanding they require overtime, and bringing work home, (Not on my watch) Yeah, no. I don't even mind working part-time. That's how serious I am about doing what I love. I want to be a professional play writer and I am determined to make it happen!
It takes me a long time to really see what God is trying to say. I have trouble listening and that is not good. I do my best, like I always say, but there are times when I really forget to listen and God throws signs in front of me to a point where I can't ignore. Like some signs this year that sent sent were to keep braiding because it makes you happy. I was braiding mostly on the weekends when I was still working, but by the first week of Feb, I was a free woman. (Unemployed) It felt weird not getting up, but I got used to it. I job hunted like crazy, I used all my resources, but things weren't changing. I Had to learn a new way. And that's all I've been doing. Learning a new way live my life. From the way I eat, to how I dress, to the way I talk, text, move, where I go, if finding a man won't work at Poetry night, try at a soccer game, or maybe go on a trip, and find a guy on a plane. (I found a guy in an airport...Didn't go far but the point is it happened where I least expected it.)
So you can find what you just keep your options and your eyes open and listen to God.
Signed;
GyftedArtyst
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Chivarly Is Not Dead
It is so easy to hate something. And hate for a long time. I know these days people often give up when things in life do not go there way, or you get tempted to do what you know is wrong, but you do it anyway, than you find out you lost something great, (Yeah I watch too much TV, and do not read my bible enough, guilty as charged) You blame the world for whats wrong instead of dealing with your problems (thx for the tweets sis).
I am starting to see, in a lot of television shows, that relationships, marriages and friendships are being broken, because the drama is more important than showing that love is real. There are hardships like you forget to pay a light bill and there are not lights for a couple of days, you know pay week is around the corner, so instead of losing it on your loved one, simply say, you've had a busy week, things go out of control, you will handle it. And than you follow up with your spouse to say, "I took care of it, here is the receipt, and next month it's your turn. Easier said than done but when you take time out to do these small things, function in the household is a lot easier than chaos and yelling. We don't see how other people are affected by things, we just assume they are fine and go on with our lives.
I watched a couple shows this past week that made me really hate love, as in I wanted to give up saying, "forget love, you don't do anything but cause pain and suffering." I was not having the best couple of days and on and off, my mind goes down memory lane and I think about my past and it distracts me from the present. I got involved with someone whom I thought things would work out, but after a few months he started to change and get very controlling and obsessive about things. We fought more than we should have, and this was just the friendship part. We never made it farther because I started feeling stressed and less like I mattered to him. So I said goodbye. It was almost a year ago, and I haven't spoken to him since, but the impact and emotional toll it took was what was hard for me to deal with. However, like Maya Angelou says, "Still, I rise"But love is work, happiness is a choice, we choose how to react and we need to learn to pick the battles worth fighting for.
Through all that TV puts us through, we should know better than to engross ourselves in the lives of other people. Our main focus should be on God. I watch too much TV, and read my bible less. I pray everyday, all the time, and I have been getting small signs from God, like the sermon on being a servant for the Lord, do not complain about your last dollar, you will be rewarded for being humble and knowing that what you do pleases God. And the verse about thinking you are invisible and that God cannot see you when you are sinning, he sees and hears every thought.
I hope you enjoy your Sunday, God Bless, and smile.
I'd also like to say R.I.P Amy Winehouse who passed away yesterday from a drug overdose.
Signed
GyftedArtyst
I am starting to see, in a lot of television shows, that relationships, marriages and friendships are being broken, because the drama is more important than showing that love is real. There are hardships like you forget to pay a light bill and there are not lights for a couple of days, you know pay week is around the corner, so instead of losing it on your loved one, simply say, you've had a busy week, things go out of control, you will handle it. And than you follow up with your spouse to say, "I took care of it, here is the receipt, and next month it's your turn. Easier said than done but when you take time out to do these small things, function in the household is a lot easier than chaos and yelling. We don't see how other people are affected by things, we just assume they are fine and go on with our lives.
I watched a couple shows this past week that made me really hate love, as in I wanted to give up saying, "forget love, you don't do anything but cause pain and suffering." I was not having the best couple of days and on and off, my mind goes down memory lane and I think about my past and it distracts me from the present. I got involved with someone whom I thought things would work out, but after a few months he started to change and get very controlling and obsessive about things. We fought more than we should have, and this was just the friendship part. We never made it farther because I started feeling stressed and less like I mattered to him. So I said goodbye. It was almost a year ago, and I haven't spoken to him since, but the impact and emotional toll it took was what was hard for me to deal with. However, like Maya Angelou says, "Still, I rise"But love is work, happiness is a choice, we choose how to react and we need to learn to pick the battles worth fighting for.
Through all that TV puts us through, we should know better than to engross ourselves in the lives of other people. Our main focus should be on God. I watch too much TV, and read my bible less. I pray everyday, all the time, and I have been getting small signs from God, like the sermon on being a servant for the Lord, do not complain about your last dollar, you will be rewarded for being humble and knowing that what you do pleases God. And the verse about thinking you are invisible and that God cannot see you when you are sinning, he sees and hears every thought.
I hope you enjoy your Sunday, God Bless, and smile.
I'd also like to say R.I.P Amy Winehouse who passed away yesterday from a drug overdose.
Signed
GyftedArtyst
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