http://www.christianhusbands.org/writings/responsibility.html
The bible talks about there being a particular type of woman that men should want to marry, and it made me think, there must be one about men, so I looked it up on google and that is where I found the link posted above. Men talk so much about the type of woman they want, how she should be, dress, traits they want her to have, etc but I have always wondered about men, and what to look for, and this changes everything.
There are four areas that men need to have in order to make a good Christian man, and if looking for more, a good Christian husband. I thought it was really neat and informative, and of course I went to the bible to find out more information, and I think it is great how when you want to know something, the bible is there for you to find it. Sometimes its in a hidden message but you have to dig to find it. Proverbs 31:10 talks about the type of woman, a woman of virtue, which sadly these days its hard to find, but we are out there. So, the main point of this blog is to emphasize to men, to please, do not think you cannot hold these traits that God declares all men should have, if you are expecting your woman, the one you want to be with to have the traits you want, loving, caring, strong, ambitious, and can hold things down when you cannot, you need to be able to do the same for her. It is not about one person when it comes to relationships, just know that both parties need attention, and the right kind goes a long way. You cannot demand a man to be like this, but you can encourage him to be a better person if you notice he is straying. Okay, I wont make it a long blog, I am working on my blogs being shorter than normal. Work in Progress.
Signed;
GyftedArtyst
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
ABG turns ABW
Check out this link: http://www.bullyingcanada.ca/index.php, and this on: http://www.redcross.ca/article.asp?id=24700&tid=108, and last one: http://www.stopabully.ca/
So this is part two of my response. But it is no longer bout being an Awkward Black Girl, the title has changed to an Angry Black Woman but for a reason. This time, it's not about men.
A week ago I came across a gossip site which brought the attention of two suicides. Two young girls has both hung themselves because they were both bullied in school. This drew my attention because I was bullied when I was in high school., not as badly when I was younger, but in High School it was all about who was more popular, who could afford this and that, and who was prettier. Most times I never made either list and i was happy, because I did not care. But I look back now and I kept it together. My sisters helped me change a lot about myself at the same time encouraging me to love who I was. Being different made you an easy target for bullying and my hope and prayer is that more people will take a stand and stand with their kids. If your kids refuses to get out of bed, there is a problem. Do not ignore it, do something about it. Your child is your responsibility, not the schools. Last year while I was working I had to spend two weeks with my cousins because their parents and mine and gone out of the country for a family event. My sister joined me a couple of days later. While at work I got phone call telling me about an incident involving my younger cousin at school. I froze, and kept myself from losing my mind. Not knowing how to help her or what to do I took time to breathe. If this is what a parent goes through when it comes to handling these types of problems, I hope I did the right thing. I ask what happened, asked how my lil girl was doing, and told my sister thanks for letting me know, and she explained that other family had stepped in as well. I could have left but there was someone closer to her than me, and I knew I probably would not have been much help. Kids are cruel. What happened to my cousin could have beat her up emotionally but she is a strong person and has a big heart. She made it through fine, but I know it wasn't easy. Kids showed up at her home threatening her and I got concerned. Her older sister had to pick her up from school to make sure she was not picked on or hurt anymore. That is why I love my family. They will stand beside each other know matter what.
So now the world is accepting people who are different, and it's about time we stopped hurting others. I know that when one bullies another, it is because the one doing the bullying is not getting enough love at home, and needs an outlet, so they find the easiest, softest target and shoot away. I don't want to sound violent but bullying has gone too far, and there should be a law against it otherwise we will lose more youth, and parents will never recover from burying their child.
It all starts at home. Look at the Columbine Shootings, those kids were messed up, the Dawson College shooting in Montreal, it breaks my heart to think about the issues going on in families...I wish I could wish it all away but we know that won't happen, but we should do something.
We need to do more, what more can be done?
Signed:
GyftedArtyst
So this is part two of my response. But it is no longer bout being an Awkward Black Girl, the title has changed to an Angry Black Woman but for a reason. This time, it's not about men.
A week ago I came across a gossip site which brought the attention of two suicides. Two young girls has both hung themselves because they were both bullied in school. This drew my attention because I was bullied when I was in high school., not as badly when I was younger, but in High School it was all about who was more popular, who could afford this and that, and who was prettier. Most times I never made either list and i was happy, because I did not care. But I look back now and I kept it together. My sisters helped me change a lot about myself at the same time encouraging me to love who I was. Being different made you an easy target for bullying and my hope and prayer is that more people will take a stand and stand with their kids. If your kids refuses to get out of bed, there is a problem. Do not ignore it, do something about it. Your child is your responsibility, not the schools. Last year while I was working I had to spend two weeks with my cousins because their parents and mine and gone out of the country for a family event. My sister joined me a couple of days later. While at work I got phone call telling me about an incident involving my younger cousin at school. I froze, and kept myself from losing my mind. Not knowing how to help her or what to do I took time to breathe. If this is what a parent goes through when it comes to handling these types of problems, I hope I did the right thing. I ask what happened, asked how my lil girl was doing, and told my sister thanks for letting me know, and she explained that other family had stepped in as well. I could have left but there was someone closer to her than me, and I knew I probably would not have been much help. Kids are cruel. What happened to my cousin could have beat her up emotionally but she is a strong person and has a big heart. She made it through fine, but I know it wasn't easy. Kids showed up at her home threatening her and I got concerned. Her older sister had to pick her up from school to make sure she was not picked on or hurt anymore. That is why I love my family. They will stand beside each other know matter what.
So now the world is accepting people who are different, and it's about time we stopped hurting others. I know that when one bullies another, it is because the one doing the bullying is not getting enough love at home, and needs an outlet, so they find the easiest, softest target and shoot away. I don't want to sound violent but bullying has gone too far, and there should be a law against it otherwise we will lose more youth, and parents will never recover from burying their child.
It all starts at home. Look at the Columbine Shootings, those kids were messed up, the Dawson College shooting in Montreal, it breaks my heart to think about the issues going on in families...I wish I could wish it all away but we know that won't happen, but we should do something.
We need to do more, what more can be done?
Signed:
GyftedArtyst
Saturday, November 26, 2011
ABGResponse
Part One
I have struggled with this blog for a while now, and I have decided to do it in parts because this hits close to home.
I was born in Zambia, left when I was a year and a half, I spent the first ten years of my life in the valley, Annapolis. I went to school there, church, I had a while life there. I lived amongst my friends, my neighbors and I all went to the same school, we all got alone, and my race was never an issue. Than when I was in my last year of grade five, my dad accepted a position to be a pastor at a church in the city so the whole family moved to the city. I did not like the city. I loved the valley, that was my home, but change is a part of life, so off we went. We landed in the city, lived in a couple of homes before the final move to Cole Harbor the year I was in grade eight. Since than we never moved again. I explain this because it is relevant to my post. While in school, I stuck out because I was different. In elementary school my sisters and I were the only black students besides a few mixed race kids. At this time, none of that mattered. But once we hit the city, race became an issue. I had been surrounded by Caucasians my whole life, and now being thrown into a a new setting with Black Nova Scotians, and other diverse cultures, it made me see that there was more to life than the life I had previously. I did not fit in at all, it took me a while to settle in, but I was able to make friends. I had different friends circles. Some days I would sit with one group, other times, I sat with some nerds, but often I just kinda went with the crowd. I cannot remember everything to detail, but I know I had trouble keeping friends. I don't remember much about junior high school, but high school was where I finally came into my own skin, and started to really discover who I was. I was a part of groups that allowed me to express who I was, even if I did not know what to do most of the time. I love to dance but am not a dancer...I had been writing though, short stories, poems, random thoughts. High school was when the awkwardness came out. First year, I had my own way of doing things, and that made me a target for bullying. It never got out of hand, but it made me feel more aware of myself. The names I was called were never bitter names but the fact that complete strangers though that they could say stuff, I am not sure if they were tempting or provoking a fight to see what I would do, but I never fought back. I was told if I had nothing nice to say, not to say anything at all. So I kept quiet. Over time , I grew more of a back bone and was able to really stand up for my self more. Being awkward is not fun, or at least back than it wasn't, but now, I am learning to embrace who I am, and accepting my self for who I am because loving my self is more important than please people who do not know me or appreciate other personalities. The road does not get any easier, but it will be better for yourself, like me, to just accept who you are instead of trying to be someone else for someone else.
Check back for Part Two:
Signed:
GyftedArtyst
I have struggled with this blog for a while now, and I have decided to do it in parts because this hits close to home.
I was born in Zambia, left when I was a year and a half, I spent the first ten years of my life in the valley, Annapolis. I went to school there, church, I had a while life there. I lived amongst my friends, my neighbors and I all went to the same school, we all got alone, and my race was never an issue. Than when I was in my last year of grade five, my dad accepted a position to be a pastor at a church in the city so the whole family moved to the city. I did not like the city. I loved the valley, that was my home, but change is a part of life, so off we went. We landed in the city, lived in a couple of homes before the final move to Cole Harbor the year I was in grade eight. Since than we never moved again. I explain this because it is relevant to my post. While in school, I stuck out because I was different. In elementary school my sisters and I were the only black students besides a few mixed race kids. At this time, none of that mattered. But once we hit the city, race became an issue. I had been surrounded by Caucasians my whole life, and now being thrown into a a new setting with Black Nova Scotians, and other diverse cultures, it made me see that there was more to life than the life I had previously. I did not fit in at all, it took me a while to settle in, but I was able to make friends. I had different friends circles. Some days I would sit with one group, other times, I sat with some nerds, but often I just kinda went with the crowd. I cannot remember everything to detail, but I know I had trouble keeping friends. I don't remember much about junior high school, but high school was where I finally came into my own skin, and started to really discover who I was. I was a part of groups that allowed me to express who I was, even if I did not know what to do most of the time. I love to dance but am not a dancer...I had been writing though, short stories, poems, random thoughts. High school was when the awkwardness came out. First year, I had my own way of doing things, and that made me a target for bullying. It never got out of hand, but it made me feel more aware of myself. The names I was called were never bitter names but the fact that complete strangers though that they could say stuff, I am not sure if they were tempting or provoking a fight to see what I would do, but I never fought back. I was told if I had nothing nice to say, not to say anything at all. So I kept quiet. Over time , I grew more of a back bone and was able to really stand up for my self more. Being awkward is not fun, or at least back than it wasn't, but now, I am learning to embrace who I am, and accepting my self for who I am because loving my self is more important than please people who do not know me or appreciate other personalities. The road does not get any easier, but it will be better for yourself, like me, to just accept who you are instead of trying to be someone else for someone else.
Check back for Part Two:
Signed:
GyftedArtyst
Friday, November 18, 2011
IndependentOrDependent/Communicate
http://www.essence.com/2011/11/17/real-talk-tyrese-says-you-need-a-man/
So....Black ...women are in this conversation more than any other race that I know of...That I have read of. You see, Black women do love their Black men, but we have a very big communication problem. Black women would prefer that their man come already trained to help out in the kitchen, help around the house, pick up the kids, contribute, and eventually, marry the woman they have shared a few years with. Instead, we have Black couples divorcing after such a short period of time. Divorcing after a year or two, and all we can ask is, "Why go through with it knowing it's for life, and your not sure?" Eva Longoria married Tony Parker and they divorced, but he did cheat. However, vows do say through thick and thin. I'm not saying forgive him right away, but he has to know he did wrong, pay for it, and find a way to gain your trust back. For celebrities its worse. Now a days the B-ball players just want to have fun, they don't care if they are married or not. The wives know what they are getting into. It's all about the money in the end. Whether they fight the press about it for years, we know money is the reason most B-ball players find those wives who just want access into clubs, booze, and to be flown all over the world wearing hideous looking clothes they think are gorgeous. But the real deal is within our own people. A good Black woman will show her man she appreciates him. But the Black man needs to stop being pampered 24/7 and pamper her back. Your wife does NOT replace your mother. You need to get that out if your head. Be the man, you have a job to, and its more than to just bring home the bacon. Dating outside the race has always been a problem, but now the topic is just out of hand. Movies such as "Something New" Which showed that no matter how for you are for your own man, he could be successful, gorgeous, have it all, but he could be boring as anything and just want to be at home and work. That is boring. So she went for the White guy because he made her laugh, smile, and was outgoing. People stared, and whispered, but who cares???????? Why do us girls, Black girls care so much about what people think about us? Do they pay your bills? They are just jealous because you found a good man who will honor you for life. Nobody else matters except for the people you pick. Family will always support you even if they do not like the choice you make. It's their job to stand behind you because in the end, all family want is for you to be happy.
Now I kinda went a bit off track, so to come back to my title...Women have leaned on men for decades until we were given rights to vote, work, and do other things. Now, we want to be independent, bu the man wants us to lean on him. It can get messy but if you just sit and talk things out with your spouse, it's not as hard as you make it out to be. Honesty is a good policy. If you do not learn to trust in you relationship, you will struggle with everything else and life is too short. Let him spoil you, let him treat you, no harm in that. But talk about things in a calm and respectful manner without yelling and trying to hurt each other.
Loving is so important yet this world would rather us kill each other. Let's not do that. Treasure life, communicate in a decent manner, and learn to be open, kind, and respectful.
Signed:
GyftedArtyst
So....Black ...women are in this conversation more than any other race that I know of...That I have read of. You see, Black women do love their Black men, but we have a very big communication problem. Black women would prefer that their man come already trained to help out in the kitchen, help around the house, pick up the kids, contribute, and eventually, marry the woman they have shared a few years with. Instead, we have Black couples divorcing after such a short period of time. Divorcing after a year or two, and all we can ask is, "Why go through with it knowing it's for life, and your not sure?" Eva Longoria married Tony Parker and they divorced, but he did cheat. However, vows do say through thick and thin. I'm not saying forgive him right away, but he has to know he did wrong, pay for it, and find a way to gain your trust back. For celebrities its worse. Now a days the B-ball players just want to have fun, they don't care if they are married or not. The wives know what they are getting into. It's all about the money in the end. Whether they fight the press about it for years, we know money is the reason most B-ball players find those wives who just want access into clubs, booze, and to be flown all over the world wearing hideous looking clothes they think are gorgeous. But the real deal is within our own people. A good Black woman will show her man she appreciates him. But the Black man needs to stop being pampered 24/7 and pamper her back. Your wife does NOT replace your mother. You need to get that out if your head. Be the man, you have a job to, and its more than to just bring home the bacon. Dating outside the race has always been a problem, but now the topic is just out of hand. Movies such as "Something New" Which showed that no matter how for you are for your own man, he could be successful, gorgeous, have it all, but he could be boring as anything and just want to be at home and work. That is boring. So she went for the White guy because he made her laugh, smile, and was outgoing. People stared, and whispered, but who cares???????? Why do us girls, Black girls care so much about what people think about us? Do they pay your bills? They are just jealous because you found a good man who will honor you for life. Nobody else matters except for the people you pick. Family will always support you even if they do not like the choice you make. It's their job to stand behind you because in the end, all family want is for you to be happy.
Now I kinda went a bit off track, so to come back to my title...Women have leaned on men for decades until we were given rights to vote, work, and do other things. Now, we want to be independent, bu the man wants us to lean on him. It can get messy but if you just sit and talk things out with your spouse, it's not as hard as you make it out to be. Honesty is a good policy. If you do not learn to trust in you relationship, you will struggle with everything else and life is too short. Let him spoil you, let him treat you, no harm in that. But talk about things in a calm and respectful manner without yelling and trying to hurt each other.
Loving is so important yet this world would rather us kill each other. Let's not do that. Treasure life, communicate in a decent manner, and learn to be open, kind, and respectful.
Signed:
GyftedArtyst
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