I have been struggling to write on my blog for the past couple of days. I have had mixed emotions for quite some time, but today I decided to just talk about one emotion.
I like someone. He is such a great guy, smart, funny, very caring, and most importantly, he loves God. That is big for me because most guys I meet they don't do "organized religion, or go to church, they believe in something just not sure what it is. I am single because I haven't found someone that loves God, goes to church, is active, etc. But I really like this guy, yet I don't know what to do about it. Do I give him clues, ask him out, call him...Everyone says "take your time, don't rush" Um, I'm in my mid-twenties, not saying I want to be married in a year or two, but it's about trying to start a friendship with someone without looking desperate.
I went personal because that is what I do. Hmmmm...He has a lot of great qualities, I am just not sure he sees me the way I see him. How do I get him to see me? Seriously, how?
HELP
Signed:
GyftedArtyst
Friday, June 24, 2011
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
It's Just Emotions
It's been an emotional couple of days. I have been struggling to find a job for an entire year, trying to figure out my next step, wondering if I will ever find love, and hoping I will eventually find my way. We all get lost, but I'm wondering when I will be found. All my life people asked me how I am, and I have always said I'm great, but I am tired of beating around the bush. I am sad because I can't find a job, I am getting older and starting to feel a bit more alone, it's hard to find someone to vent to because I have trust issues, and I feel like nobody trusts me because of who I used to be. I know this isn't the happiest blog entry, but sometimes a girl has to say how she feels. This is me being honest, so do not judge.
For the past little while, not sure how long, but a while, I have always wondered if people actually like me. Although I could care less if I only have three friends, I do not like it when people spread stuff about me. If you want to know something about me, ask me, why go around me? I am not a scary person, I won't bite, or yell, so please just ask. I get that I make mistakes but who doesn't? Emotionally I'd say it's been a tough couple of days. But I know I will make it through.
So at a soccer game last night, I felt really conflicted about how I was going to react while watching the guys play. I'm torn between being a lady and being myself, I do not want how I act to be the reason why I should be alone. That is not fair. I know I have some tendencies and can be loud, very open minded, and often talk a bit too much, but it is never to intentionally hurt anyone. I only mean well but I feel my actions are telling people to avoid me, please do not. We are all different but I have been feeling for the longest time that people are just turning their backs on me. I know who my friends are but I am tired of the two faced people that talk and act like they want to be my friend. Do not BS around me. I should not lose friends because of how I act, I do not act worse than others but people think I am messed up because I have changed? There are days I wish I could tell some people off but it won't do anything.
This did not turn out how I wanted it to but oh well.
Maybe when I am a bit more awake I will know what I really meant to say. This is my personal blog which I share with people I love and care about. You know who you are. Those that stand by me and know I work hard, please do not turn your backs on me.
Signed:
GyftedArtyst
For the past little while, not sure how long, but a while, I have always wondered if people actually like me. Although I could care less if I only have three friends, I do not like it when people spread stuff about me. If you want to know something about me, ask me, why go around me? I am not a scary person, I won't bite, or yell, so please just ask. I get that I make mistakes but who doesn't? Emotionally I'd say it's been a tough couple of days. But I know I will make it through.
So at a soccer game last night, I felt really conflicted about how I was going to react while watching the guys play. I'm torn between being a lady and being myself, I do not want how I act to be the reason why I should be alone. That is not fair. I know I have some tendencies and can be loud, very open minded, and often talk a bit too much, but it is never to intentionally hurt anyone. I only mean well but I feel my actions are telling people to avoid me, please do not. We are all different but I have been feeling for the longest time that people are just turning their backs on me. I know who my friends are but I am tired of the two faced people that talk and act like they want to be my friend. Do not BS around me. I should not lose friends because of how I act, I do not act worse than others but people think I am messed up because I have changed? There are days I wish I could tell some people off but it won't do anything.
This did not turn out how I wanted it to but oh well.
Maybe when I am a bit more awake I will know what I really meant to say. This is my personal blog which I share with people I love and care about. You know who you are. Those that stand by me and know I work hard, please do not turn your backs on me.
Signed:
GyftedArtyst
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Window of Opportunity
Some days I am happy, some days I am sad, some days I question where I am going, and other days the lighbulb goes on and I hae figured out my next step! God works in mysterious ways but he never let's me down! I'm going to get personal...this won't be the first and only blog though there will be more!
So I have never been in a relationship. Those that know me, and I mean like really know me know I don't date just anyone. I have very little experience in that section. I was born in Zambia, raised in Canada, so my ways of things are different. I date for marriage. However, times have changed. I went from wanting to date when I was younger (JR & HS), like all my other friends, to having no problem with waiting(till you grow up a bit more), to thinking after some university experience "What is wrong with me?" (Why can't I find a man) But than I learned that having standards when it comes to relationships is a good thing. Respect is the one thing guy's want, and if you don't have for yourself, yeah, good luck! If there is one thing I have learned about guys it's from my sisters. Very valuable advice, the question is do I have the confidence and patience to make the advice work? I do because of God!
I am not the type of girl that chases guys, guys are supposed to come to my door, but often times the door, ahem, my door is not always open which prevents the opportunity. I believe that knowledge is power and that woman have a lot of power. Which means if there is something that I want, I just need to put a "lil umph in it". And it's true. But, it does not always work in my favor, which makes it often hard to "get the guy". I am a shy person but with the right person, right place, right timing, etc, I come out of my shell. But as usual there are some things about me that would cause a guy to question things and I just want to say that I am different than most girls, but I am also one of a kind. I am the type of girl you take home to your parents, yes I am, and I am proud my parents brought me up like that.
A while ago my older sister put together a surprise party for her husband, and it went great. Afterwards a friend drove us home and I made a reflection about how I would defend anyone but when it comes to me, I feel like I have too much to prove. I know it's not the most positive thing to put on a blog but it shows we all have our flaws and stuff to work on, don't hold it against me for being real and raw with ya'll. Thats how I do it!
This is me saying, you have a chance to get to know me. So please don't be shy
(Please let me know if this made sense because I do proofread my work) :)
Signed:
GyftedArtyst
So I have never been in a relationship. Those that know me, and I mean like really know me know I don't date just anyone. I have very little experience in that section. I was born in Zambia, raised in Canada, so my ways of things are different. I date for marriage. However, times have changed. I went from wanting to date when I was younger (JR & HS), like all my other friends, to having no problem with waiting(till you grow up a bit more), to thinking after some university experience "What is wrong with me?" (Why can't I find a man) But than I learned that having standards when it comes to relationships is a good thing. Respect is the one thing guy's want, and if you don't have for yourself, yeah, good luck! If there is one thing I have learned about guys it's from my sisters. Very valuable advice, the question is do I have the confidence and patience to make the advice work? I do because of God!
I am not the type of girl that chases guys, guys are supposed to come to my door, but often times the door, ahem, my door is not always open which prevents the opportunity. I believe that knowledge is power and that woman have a lot of power. Which means if there is something that I want, I just need to put a "lil umph in it". And it's true. But, it does not always work in my favor, which makes it often hard to "get the guy". I am a shy person but with the right person, right place, right timing, etc, I come out of my shell. But as usual there are some things about me that would cause a guy to question things and I just want to say that I am different than most girls, but I am also one of a kind. I am the type of girl you take home to your parents, yes I am, and I am proud my parents brought me up like that.
A while ago my older sister put together a surprise party for her husband, and it went great. Afterwards a friend drove us home and I made a reflection about how I would defend anyone but when it comes to me, I feel like I have too much to prove. I know it's not the most positive thing to put on a blog but it shows we all have our flaws and stuff to work on, don't hold it against me for being real and raw with ya'll. Thats how I do it!
This is me saying, you have a chance to get to know me. So please don't be shy
(Please let me know if this made sense because I do proofread my work) :)
Signed:
GyftedArtyst
Monday, June 20, 2011
Oh What A Night!!!!!!
....
For a writer I often find myself with no words to explain how I feel.
But its been two days and I don't want to forget what happened so here goes:
So a few weeks back Zamnova, A Zambian group that formed years ago decided we would finally form an executive to plan events for Zambians in the Diaspora, and also we have the first Zambian conference happening in Vancouver British Columbia this Sept so we needed to start quickly and form a team to plan events, raise funds, etc.
So I was nominated and won the spot for Secretary. I am response for taking minutes at every meeting and ensuring that everyone is up to date with events, concerns, issues, and suggestions made to keep the team strong.
I am excited for what is to come, and cannot wait to get started.
We had a great turnout, a bunch of people showed up, of course it was Zambian's only, a few were not able to be there, however, it went on. Food was great, fellowship, not sure how many pictures were taken but I might be in one or two. I took a ton of my self on my phone, lol, I like taking pictures of myself. Not being arrogant, I just know I am beautiful.
I am still on the job hunt, am applying everywhere I know, everywhere I go, but everyone wants the same spot so its hard to get a job that fifteen other people do not want. But I will keep going.
Okay, I did not know I was this tired, will blog again later when I have taken my Vitamin D. I take my vitamine as often as I can and they make a difference.
Okay, that's it for now!
Signed:
GyftedArtyst
For a writer I often find myself with no words to explain how I feel.
But its been two days and I don't want to forget what happened so here goes:
So a few weeks back Zamnova, A Zambian group that formed years ago decided we would finally form an executive to plan events for Zambians in the Diaspora, and also we have the first Zambian conference happening in Vancouver British Columbia this Sept so we needed to start quickly and form a team to plan events, raise funds, etc.
So I was nominated and won the spot for Secretary. I am response for taking minutes at every meeting and ensuring that everyone is up to date with events, concerns, issues, and suggestions made to keep the team strong.
I am excited for what is to come, and cannot wait to get started.
We had a great turnout, a bunch of people showed up, of course it was Zambian's only, a few were not able to be there, however, it went on. Food was great, fellowship, not sure how many pictures were taken but I might be in one or two. I took a ton of my self on my phone, lol, I like taking pictures of myself. Not being arrogant, I just know I am beautiful.
I am still on the job hunt, am applying everywhere I know, everywhere I go, but everyone wants the same spot so its hard to get a job that fifteen other people do not want. But I will keep going.
Okay, I did not know I was this tired, will blog again later when I have taken my Vitamin D. I take my vitamine as often as I can and they make a difference.
Okay, that's it for now!
Signed:
GyftedArtyst
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